Maras in pyjamas and the gift of Losar

Maras in pyjamas and the gift of Losar

Who would have thought it. Lovely gentle Pisces new moon.  Funny thing is that being an astrology coach I’m assuming that on days like new moons, it’s important to write about events just as they’re happening, nice fresh hot off the press information about the planetary sky to share, the kind of  “this gives us all the chance to get into our dreams, beyond our limits” guidance ..

This weekend as well as it was Losar, the Tibetan New Year and start of the year of the wood horse, it would be the perfect time to be inspired and poetic about the year ahead. Yes!

Only I didn’t really take account of what it might mean for me until it was right on me and the impact was strong!  We’d already had the start of the wood horse year in the Chinese calendar, and already things had changed, my wood horse partner had finally managed to get a new project – well a garage workshop built-in the back garden that had been sitting around in pieces since last autumn, and in its idea form had been hanging around unfinished for about 2 years!

Yesterday though it was my turn.  My Buddhist lineage must have put me fair and square in harmony with this new year, if you can call harmony the word! Something inside was raging and I can only put it down to the last hours of transformation that were coming from the female snake year on her way out.

I checked inside at all the ‘little things’ that were bothering me and really had to check if I was being overly demanding, unreasonable to want things my way, you know the kind of nonsense we sometimes have in believing that being a nice person means that we never get angry or we never do something where we might end up hurting or offending someone else.
AND then I got it.  All the people who I’ve unwittingly hurt in the past appeared in front of my eyes! Well probably not all of them, but I saw where I’d let down those closest to me all along. What I can’t change from the past but I can do something about not taking that into to the future. This was exactly my transformation end of snake year snake bite!  The part of the training where you get to take an exam in full-on ‘delivered straight to the door’ mode’.  My own growing pains of shedding a skin and having the courage of my path, to understand that what has held me back time and time again.

I’d had a ‘clarity session’ earlier in the week, an exchange for doing some research with a lovely lady coach, Ann Brown, who was going a bit deeper into her business research about how to find her right clients. I was surprised with what I found lurking in the depths of my belief system. Confusion and doubt about what being a spiritual person, and ‘committed’ Buddhist practitioner really ‘is’ and truthfully what it was meaning to me.  I got a glimpse of where I was stuck. And with her insight she gave me just the space I needed to see why. I did say to her at the time that the image of doing my driving test came to my head. It felt like maybe I’d mistaken the ‘demon’ for just the process of growing through my deeply held belief about who I was or should be. I guess it’s a classic part of the archetypal journey.

In the archetypal Buddhist journey, there’s the part where disillusioned Siddhartha leaves his home in the middle of the night and is faced with all kinds of obstacle makers on his path. The Maras. The frightening demons and the beautiful goddesses, symbolic of what temps us to stay where we are promising dream come true and all desires met.

And I could feel it, the road heading away from my castle, heading away from the moat walls that were ‘protecting’ me from the outside world in some way.  It’s not the first time I’ve been brave and walked away, from situations, people, towns, jobs, life styles. But somehow something was different. I wasn’t walking away, I’m walking towards where I want to be.  There isn’t really something scary on the outside that is blocking me either.

Maras in pyjamasMy Maras were wearing fluffy pink pyjamas.  They were showing me my comfort zone, where maybe I could stay a little longer, and where maybe I would stay forever. And it wouldn’t have been so bad.  After all, seems I have everything that I need?

Yeah, except that sense of fulfilling the ‘why’ that I’m even in this lifetime! Ha, that was scary.

No-one else can do this for me, no one else can reach inside and find my passion to live my highest potential out here in the world.

It always takes courage, always a little bit more than you have right there on that day.
Even at my age there’s still a part of me ‘leaving home’ everyday, in fact it’s almost happening every minute. And I’ve stopped thinking I need somehow to always work this out by myself. It’s not a journey with an end and I’ve rediscovered the joy of being where others are as well.  For dharma practitioners there’s the sangha, those walking the same path to awakening.  There comes a time where the sangha are least where you’re expecting to find them!

There’s always another step to take and someone there with just the words of wisdom to help take it.
As I was finishing writing this post the latest mail from Danielle LaPorte arrived in my in-box.  She bought herself a hot tub. I just bought myself some new purple tights!