This morning’s little bit of wisdom and perfect for the new Capricorn moon dark days .. I woke with yet another pain in my back the day before the new moon but this time in a different place where I’ve not had pain before ..

This morning as I awoke it was so startlingly obvious that I needed to sit and write down all that I needed to remember and recount from the whole of the past year which has seen such huge huge leaps and bounds, teachings, training, new contacts and much squeezing through and out of tight spots. I thought just remembering in my memory would do .. But clearly not .. I need to work all that information and all those life stories and revel in their insights .. I thought it took effort to get through the year, but no it seems the real effort will be the effort of integrating it all, and that starts now. I notice when I try to get up to quickly my back blocks but when I sit and turn to one side or the other gently there’s no pain …

mercuryretrograde #liferewrites #capricorn #newmoondays #trickstertraining #gratitude #righteffort #2016learningcurve

What brought you here I wonder?  Maybe like me you have some strong Virgo planet in your chart and Jupiter just woke you up and sent you this way to get some real insight into where you are right now!

Or maybe you’re just ending up this long Saturn in Scorpio journey which seems to have been going on forever and just when you thought it was over there was this last couple of months of final twisting of your universe.

All that seems dark or light, or opening up or closing down, whatever is confusing you about what you’re experiencing in your outside world, makes utter and complete sense when we read it from the planetary perspective.

For my part, I just moved into my very own new little Astrology Studio in town. All of a sudden I have a whole lot of new space, in my actual working world and on the road that lies before me. My long-held dreams of creating a floor mandala for experiencing the birth chart directly are going to happen now. So are the Urban day retreats of working with your own birth chart and those of partners family or businesses together to get real deep insights and directions for making the life you need.

I’ll be changing the way I offer consultations as well – new menu on its way so watch this space!

And it’s the start of mini workshops or ‘stages’ as they’re called here in France, for learning Astrology, Discovery Days, Initiations into the world of planet maps, One Day Intensives, Mastermind groups for life and for work and Creating a Moon Planner Diary that brings your inner desires into harmony with your own evolutionary cycles, harnessing the power of the natural moon phases.

So, if that gate of change is starting to open for you, come along and find out more.

It’s coming up to the full moon. The Scorpio full moon, on Monday.  Amongst other transformations, I’ve had the ‘new website coming’ on my old home page for months, assuming it wouldn’t take long to rebuild but somehow never quite worked out how I wanted things to be.

Even as an astrologer there’s no immunity against the Saturn retrograde influence. I sometimes try, hoping that I can kind of outsmart it because I know it’s there. But no, it’s not like that!  Funnily enough, I have always tried to hide, work quietly and behind the scenes and then reappear when I’m ready.  What I’m learning in this transit is that it’s taking not just too long that way but it’s not even happening at all. Unless I brave it out and work out front, nothing is going to evolve and nothing new is going to be created.   Now it’s become painfully obvious that I have to be courageous enough to stand out as who I am and offer what I offer as an astrology yogini in its raw and unpolished form!  I’m aware that I need to be prepared for some kind of ongoing evolution though..

But that’s it really, life, an ongoing thing.  I have some fixed sign influences which help me to keep the inner line of where I’m going, but also my kind of mutable, adaptable planets like to join in with the cyclic nature of things and be ready to fit with what’s appearing both on an  inner and outer level.

There’s a definite difference between constant change borne out of lack of confidence or restlessness and being able to shift course when needed.  It’s quite an interesting challenge to know the difference!!

Wow, what an amazing journey this last two weeks has been … since the Scorpio new moon.  I guess it’s the Scorpionic power transformation time that we’re in that makes it feel like whole lifetimes have passed by in the space of these last 14 days!  I’m exhausted. Not so much physically, although I do spent quite a bit of time sitting around with a tired body.  But it’s a deeper exhaustion than that, and I’m still trying to get to the bottom of it.

For me it started with a dark moon in my 12th house, as it will have done for other fellow Scorpio ascendants, and ended up with the full light, fully exalted, beaming Goddess, full moon in my house of everyday activities, work, service, health and of course, karma.

For weeks I’ve felt like I’m carrying waaaaay too much around with me, an image of haystacks on my shoulders is lodged behind my eyes and I can almost see the ‘final straw’ that’s going to bring the whole lot crashing down. I’m just wondering if it will all fall aside or whether the (probably much-needed)  full on breakthrough will happen when the combined weight pushes me down through my hidden trap door and into my ‘wonderland’.  I need to tap back into the magic and wonder, that’s for sure …..

I went to England in the school holidays, 8 whole days this time. It’s a while since we had some extra time to do a bit of the tourists visiting the big smoke.  One day we took the number 12 bus all the way into Regent Street and spent a few hours in Hamleys Toy Shop, we met up with a friend who was also on a flying visit to London and had coffee together in Soho, then we headed on down to Theatre Land to meet up with my brother.  Just to see the street lights and the buzz of City life at ‘going home’ time was fabulous.  I think some deep down longing to be part of a more dynamic and spontaneous way of living was re-awakened after having taken so much time away.

Not so many years ago I noticed how just being in London, however much I loved it, stimulated an almost uncontrollable urge .. that I needed to have things, clothes, books, beautiful things for my home, whatever really… I felt drawn in by the material world and even if I could see how my mind was working I couldn’t stop the high-speed train of wanting things that I knew I didn’t need.

This time it was different…………….

When I had just finished my astrology studies and was being asked to give readings to people, I was terrified.  I couldn’t work out at all how I would be capable.  I was in awe of my teacher and her obvious massive bank of knowledge and experience. I didn’t think I’d ever know enough. I was about 28 and wondering who on earth would trust such a life novice.

Then, fortunately I met a lovely lady called Maureen who I went to see for some iridology.  Turned out she’d also studied astrology as well but her main passion was health – she was a nurse turned iridologist and an amazing one at that.  My self-esteem was low at the time and she was helping me get my body back to strength and my confidence back up.

I confided in her that I was scared about the prospect of talking to people about their birth charts .. not that I was expecting to have to do any consultations for some time to come, but was already worrying myself about doing them in the future!

She so wisely just turned to me and told me not to forget that wasn’t ‘me’ who needed to know, that there was always wisdom there and if I just followed it, all would turn out fine.  That one sentence changed the way I felt about astrology as a life path. It created a huge space in my mind at the time and it was like a wellspring of courage each time I remembered her words when I began to forget where all this planetary knowledge came from. I’m almost 100% sure she was born under the sign of Aquarius and strangely enough, as we come up to this big super moon in Aquarius tomorrow evening, her words are coming back to my mind.

If I can share anything of any use tonight I would say that in the full light of this big moon, take the time to look inside. See where your guidance comes from and how it talks to you.  Looking outside is a tricky trick of the ego that will only get you caught up in the comparison game.

All you need is there somewhere, it’s just a question of hearing.

Trust it and let it lead you your way.

It’s Guru day and there’s a fire grand trine… what a great day to go for it!

If you’re waiting for the safety net, well … my mum always said it appears after you’ve jumped, not before.

If you’re waiting for a guarantee or something.. there’s always that reassuring divine paradox type of phrase to reflect on Even if you think it’s guaranteed it’s not, and even if you think there’s no guarantee……….

Yesterday I had a virtual cuppa with my mentor Nicola .. it’s was more a relaxed friend thing but as these things tend to go, it turned out to be one of the best calls!  Maybe because we were just chatting and I didn’t take myself too seriously we had a real chance to exchange all the stuff that had been getting us down, I owned up to all my frustrations and weaknesses. No-one was trying to fix anything .. and because just her natural way of being is so supportive,  whatever comes up for me in a call with Nicola turns out to be subtle but very powerful.   I dipped into the loneliness and instead of trying to run from it I allowed myself to feel it and even ended up with a middle of the night YouTube play of that Al Green classic ‘So tired of being alone’.

More and more I see that in these moments the magic really happens.

One of my classic archetypal patterns that shows up when I need to see a shadow side is the damsel in distress. Usually it’s a quiet kind of recognition of where I lost the plot, but today I felt her shouting out … “go and get your big girl biker knickers on”. Now I remember the times when I had the courage to things differently!!

I’m also putting it down to the Mars in Scorpio effect .. this Saturn in Scorpio has been tough for quite some time and especially the generation of Neptune in Scorpio people, like my good self, need a new adventure to entice the escape artist pattern to manifest as something a bit more like fun.

*photo : Me cycling in Israel .. and yes I do have a big heavy back pack on!!

Even if it’s a wonderful fiery Leo moon with the power of the Sun in its own sign of Leo and the extra blessings of Jupiter who’s also just arrived there … there’s a lot of strength to be had in staying still during these next two days .. Just as someone sitting in the eye of a cyclone is not affected by the flurry going on around them, keeping the heart and mind calm and focused will help to bring the insights needed for the days to come, as a lot of new growth is on the way.

All the different spiritual traditions have their own visualisations and meditations but in the end they all come down to the universal light that brings us all to the same wish for happiness, kindness, compassion and love.

On a personal level, it’s all about how we bring our creative energy into the world, coming from a place where the inner fire is strong and well fed, which means maybe taking time now to get the symbolic wood in the basket so we have a steady supply of resources to fuel the flames.

I don’t have any personal planets in Leo so I picked a Goddess from my set of Divine helpers and this is who showed up ..

The Nile River Goddess whose message is Strength, Triumph, Success. The nourishing waters fed all life in its continuing cycle of generation and regeneration. And true to the way to tune-in to a new moon dark time as we have now, there’s time to look at where we’ve been, what we have gained, lost, found and experienced along the way.

As my mum always reminded us, it’s a time to Count your Blessings and give thanks. Offer your dedication prayer and release all that’s gone before and give yourself new ground for what is coming.
The image of this sacred feminine form is a woman with her arms open to the heavens and ready to bring the divine forces down into her that she may be in communion with her heart at all times.

May the inner lights of this celestial gathering bring joy, courage and divine love to all of us.